How to find something for you (in the post-modern world)

There are few things more unsettling than getting caught up in the hum-drum of life, so much so that you start losing yourself. Many of you might not know this but, I write. Mostly poetry but just general tid bits here and there to give my thoughts a medium for creative release. I’m currently a grad student. And as a grad student it’s often easy to lose sight of what’s important to you and get caught up in everything around you. A new place, new people, that monstrous course load and ofcourse working on your research. Now, I don’t want to bore you with the details but let’s just say my life got pretty shitty. I stopped writing. Singing. Doing things I loved. Not because I didn’t want to anymore…but, because I didn’t know how. I started feeling lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore because all my life, atleast as far back as I can remember..this had been my identity. That is when it hit me. I had saturated myself with so much clutter, that I forgot how to make myself happy. My writing had been replaced by screens that I stared at all day, first for work and then because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. This….this was a wake up call for me. I’m 22. I’m hardly the person to look upto. I don’t have my life all figured out, far from it. I make mistakes all the time. I procrastinate. I still don’t know what I want to do when I graduate. But, I know that this time…the time I have now, is not just for immersing myself in everything else, so much so that I lose track of what makes me….me. And so, a couple weeks back, I decided to let myself breathe. For the first time in an entire year…I took a step back and let things be. I accepted that not everything is or will ever be under my control. And I accepted that it’s okay. I’m still working on becoming the person I once proudly proclaimed I was. I still have days when I don’t write. Or sing. Or read. But,…I’m getting better at it. I guess, what I’m trying to say without sounding like a life coach is take some time out for yourself. It’s hard. Sometimes, getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. But,…be brave. Do it anyway. Find yourself. Find something you love. Find something that stirs your soul and makes your eyes shine when you talk about it. Work…hard. But also remember to take a step back every now and then and make some time to do things that make you happy. Don’t just shine bright and burn out. Be a slow burner. Last. Recognize that you need to take time to recharge so you can be your best. Okay…I’ll stop the preachy advice now and tell you what I’ve been doing. I’ve been journaling, writing….contemplating getting back to making YouTube videos (YES, I made goofy videos and you can’t look them up now cause they are private, but feel free to look trumpetsandtrinkets up and subscribe haha). I’ve been writing this blog and I want to be more regular at it. I’m learning to play the uke. Yup, that’s my baby on this page. And today, I feel like things are going to be okay. We…are going to be okay. I rate finding your passion five jazz loving hipsters (seriously..do it!). 

uke

 

 

 

 

 

 

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